my first day of school.. again! quite different from last year. first of all, all those first day jitters were not really there. the whole super excitement about finally getting my first set of kids, which would mark my official title as teacher, was not there either. i just knew i had to do my thing. i think i'm just more focused and aware of ultimate goals, so i wanna get there faster. cut to the chase, don't get fazed by their littleness and their cuteness, don't tolerate any bs, set things in motion and go. i'm a lot better an facilitating and articulating myself, i'm a lot better at observing them, i'm a lot better at sensing where they're at. but man, i still can't get over the fact that they are not my kids from last year! so sad... i see them in the 2nd grade classes in the same hall as me, and i miss them so much! =( they're mine! but alas, i know with time that i will come to love my second class just as much as my first class. the weird thing is, they agreed to also be called the All-Stars again this year. it's weird! it's like owning a dog, then that dog somehow leaves u, then u get a new dog, but u name that new dog the same name as the old dog. it just doesn't work. maybe not now, but maybe things will eventually grow on me. right now it's hard to transition emotionally...

being grade level chair will be a big task this year. it will call upon my organizational skills a great deal... which i lack in many ways. but with the weight of the rest of the grade level teachers upon me, i'll make sure i have my shit straight. the new principal too.. i dunno. so robotic, stoic, unfeeling. she's afraid, u can tell. she's afraid of making the wrong move, or not doing something by the book. she's trying to crack down, but i dunno. i think she's afraid that her authority will be undermined. i'm sure her gender, small stature, and younger appearance work against her in the administrative world. still have yet to figure her out, but things just don't seem too different at our school in many ways, while other things do seem very different. hard to explain. so much shit happening at our school. parents are still organizing and mobilizing trying to set shit right at our school. excuse the french, but when it comes to urban school, they always get the shit end of the deal.

on that note, i can't wait for day two!!! =)