so here's the deal. you click on this once a day and you will be making a difference in someone's life: http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/
Donate a mammogram. all you do is click on the pink button! =) how much easier can this get?

Visit a participating store on Wednesday May 1, 2002 from 6-10pm to get your FREE 2.5 oz. scoop of ice cream!!!

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bored? well then check this out heheehee: http://www.muffinfilms.com/tree.html

free baskin robbins this wednesday everyone! like last year, i'm going to make a road trip out of it and visit all the baskin robbins i can in san diego. =) call me a freak. and guess what. i'm lactose intolerant. i will just have to suffer some tummy aches but oh well. =)

good job to vsa (vietnamese student association) on their culture nite!!! =) whee~ althought jason and i couldn't stay for the whole thing, what we saw was pretty good. the only thing that was kinda frustrating was that not eveyrone had mikes and not everyone was enunciating so it was really hard to hear. but yay good job! go david!

today was the SIORC retreat, which was very productive and fun at the same time. we had soooo much food, and although the turn out was not what we really expected, what we had was good. =) go student initiated outreach and recruitment!

ok really though, i'm so full. =P and i keep eating. u know what game is freakin hilarious but really really bad? grand theft auto. it's a kick ass game and it'll make u laugh your head off, but at the same time a lot of the things in the game just makes u go "oh my god that's terrible". hehe.. no matter. it's fun though!

*yawn* ok i had a really busy weekend and my boyfriend just blew a huge chunk of $ on more comics and robotech dvd's. my god what am i to do with that boy. what about me?? what about MY needs? =) it's ok i'll just go do my work now. after i pee. i'm random. i hate cingular.

i am seriously accident prone. this past week i just kept getting cuts after cuts. i skinned up my knuckles real nice for my two performances. my drums are like sandpaper. owie. and then frozen rice fell from the freezer onto my pinky toe and almost severed it (ok so maybe i'm exaggerating lil). talk about freak accident. and then i nearly hacked my finger off with one of those fierce chinese butcher knives. alright, perhaps another minor exaggeration, but come on go along with it. at any rate, i'm hoping this coming week won't be so bloody. oh wait, which reminds me of another thing. nevermind.

at any rate, yesterday was uci's wayzgoose which is an annual carnival type deal that is very well attended. this is my 3rd time going and i always have fun there! i wandered around forever trying to choose what to eat for lunch. i ended up buying from Tomo No Kai, whose members were at jason's apt last nite cutting, slicing and dicing very diligently through the nite. how could i not buy food from them? a large chunk of my time was spent at the Info Booth where jason was working at. i answered what questions that i could, but i didn't make any up! namely i was blowing up balloons for kids. helium tanks are fun. no no, i didn't inhale i swear! there were these two asian kids who came by, a brother and a sister. the boy looked about 9, and the girl looked about 5 or 6. they were so sweet, as he was looking our for his sister and whatnot. after i gave them their balloons, they walked off looking so happy. i kept watching them (being the stalker that i am) until i couldn't see them anymore. i wish i had a camera with me right then. one of those nice SLR 35 mm cameras, not the regular dinky automatic ones. i'm gonna save up for one and take some photography classes in the near future. =) along with auto shop classes too.

which drives me to another tangent. i love my dad. i love talking to him. it's strange how time changes so much, and how much people can change. looking back i remember how terrified i was of my dad, and how all he ever seemed to do was disapprove of me. well, not always, but it began towards the end of middle school all throughout high school. he seemed to have done a complete 180. back then he only pushed for academics, he didn't like the fact that i was involved in tall flags/color guard, newspaper, band, orchestra, working, volunteering, just to name a few. the funny thing is that he got me started on some of them, like orchestra and newspaper. i think maybe he wanted me to do it, but not to get involved it in as much as i did. all of it, to him, took away from studying time. he wanted me to quit most of them. i didn't. my junior year was the worst. i was so depressed it hurts to even think about what i thought and did to myself back then. on top of all the current pressures i was facing, trying to juggle my honors/ap courses with all my leadership roles i had to fulfill, etc.etc i'm sure many of u can relate with, my brother got 1500 on his SATs, perfect on his SAT Math IIC, and got into UCLA, and he was on academic decathlon and president of the math club and the computer club. epitome of a computer nerd? u could say that. needless to say, in comparison i looked like i had no promising future. most of my time was dedicated to my tall flag team. my dad kept asking me if i was planned on doing tall flags for the rest of my life. how ridiculous and how that pissed me off.

ever since 3rd grade i wanted to be a vet. no no, i was going to BE a vet. i knew i was going to. after some joking, my father actually went with it. he knew how much i loved animals and how determined i was to be a vet. the summer after my 10th grade year he enrolled me in an animal care occupation class at the local vocational school. i was surprised that he encouraged me. i ended up volunteering at an animal hospital not far from my home, but when the class was over after a few months, i told the vet that my volunteer time was up. it was then that she said, "i guess we're just gonna have to hire you then." O_O ok. i worked there for the next 2 years until the week i left for ucsd. during my time there i saw, experienced, and learned so much. just ask me about some of the disgusting stories, the sad ones, the funny ones. i loved working there so much. but most of all, i learned something that i am so grateful for. i learned that being a vet was not something i could see myself doing every day of my life for the rest of my life. it was a part-time job, but no more. had i not had that job, i am almost certain that i would have chosen uc davis for their pre-vet program, with some reservations of course. looking at my math and science grades, i kinda figured that that probably would not have been the best course for me anyhow.

that wasn't the tangent i was going for. what i wanted to share was that my father, though he is 66 now, is now going to do something that HE wants to do for himself. finally. let me just tell u that he is the most selfless man i know. he lives a simple life with just one goal. to take care of his family. i don't know how he does it, but he does. when i think about him it makes me feel so selfish. but at the same time, i know that he wants me to do the things that i want to do. his reason for living is to make sure my mom is happy, but most of all his children. that was not very good english but u know what i mean. my dad has no hobbies and no leisure activities other than reading the newspaper. his whole life since he came to america was purely difficult manual labor. his hands are pretty messed up. to this day he works himself too hard, and it worries me a great deal. his body can't keep up with his mind and spirit. he doesn't deserve this. he is one of the smartest people i know, and he knows he is smart and capable of doing anything. he graduated at the top of his class in korea, and studied law at the university. he tells me that even though he knows he is intelligent, there are so many people out there who are doing better than he is. he owes it to himself to make something more what he is. at age 66, i'll remind u, he is going to be a chinese herb/medicine doctor. no no, not even 66. he has to wait still, and he has BEEN waiting. he has been waiting so that he could put my brother and myself through college. he can't start studying until we are set with our futures for financial reasons. then he'll finally settle down and do something for himself. thus, he has a few years left to wait and he'll keep waiting until then. he'll be nearly 70, but it's never too late. i am so proud of him that he is actually doing something for himself now. the most selfless and patient man i know. i can't even fathom what a sacrifice it must be.

i think this is a point in my life where i need to just stop time for just a bit and take in everything that has happened. u know when u'r walking and every once in a while u just turn to look back? it's like that. i've come to a milestone in my life where this is necessary. i never saw myself actually going to grad school. i never imagined myself as a ucla student. i never saw myself as making my parents proud so soon. they tell me i'm the pride of the family. that was a statement reserved only for my brother. to hear that from my dad is something else. throughout high school my parents controlled a lot of what i did. that changed when i got to ucsd. the decisions i made and the things that i did, even my schoolwork, they did not choose. they of course expressed their opinions and whatnot, but only as advisors, never as dictators. in short, they trusted me. they allowed me to discover my passion of teaching and they supported it. it feels so good to have earned that trust, and to reflect that their trust was not given in vain. they let me do my thing, and i earned my place as a grad student at ucla. that says a godamn lot. they know i can take care of myself, but i still think they're a little worried about me taking care of them when i become established. do they really think i'd ditch them after all that they've done? they still have more to learn. =) i can't wait to see what the next few years will bring.

oh my gosh i've not blogged in a while. what a busy week. and it's only 3rd week...? yet, already 3rd week...
well. this quarter certainly is turning out to have its own quirks. i'm taking care of some graduation stuff, like portraits, hunting for ucsd paraphernalia, maybe graduation announcements? i dunno. probably gonna end up making my own. they charge a ridiculous amount for it all. and oh my goodness some of these diploma frames!! over $100!!! i'm going to get myself a simple wooden one that's $20 or less.

oooh oooh~! i made it to the front page of the Guardian! (ucsd school newspaper.) yeah i know it's only the school newspaper and all, but still! front page man... =) how dope is that. just for performing at Cultural Celebration on Sat. wheee~ so i asked aldrin to grab me a fatty stack and he's going to give them to me at gbm next week. talk about narcissm. how bad would that look. but yes, to be on the front page all i had to be was different. i guess that meant korean. u know what though? i love how they put that i was marshall student playing the drums. no mention whatsoever that it was KOREAN. that was just kinda the point of why i did it... and ppl always take photos of my back-breaking move (quite literally.. i'm gettin old, man) but it's all good. =)

i love my students. =) i am having a great quarter so far! even though i have to work god knows how many hours a week, and volunteer god knows how many more hours a week, i've very content. =) what a great way to end my last quarter here at ucsd~

well, our one year anniversary dinner at Charlie's By The Sea at Cardiff was an extremely elegant and romantic night. what great service and yummy unique food! i highly recommend it. for less than what i thought i would be spending (i'll tell u how much i spent altogether if u ask, but i won't post it cuz jason can't know!) we had bread, an appetizer, two main dishes, a whole bottle of wine that we finished!, and a huge slice of some sorta cake. all with a beautiful view of the ocean literally right next to u. =) turns out that all that sitting on my ass for hours in front of my computer looking up restaurants, reading reviews, etc. paid off. =) it was definitely worth it. and jason gave me this really really cool storybook he put together that i can tell he spent a long time on. thank u so much....

ok kids. want some free jamba juice? alright, for u UCSD folks, the jamba juice on our campus will be making them for free THIS FRIDAY from opening until 10am. so get ur asses up outta bed and grab a morning power drink or sumthin. i'm not a fan of smoothies, but hell if it's free, why not? for those non-UCSD ppl, or if u'r a pig and just wanna know when the other jamba juices are giving theirs out for free, check out the website and look it up yourselves: www.jambajuice.com/friends/free_smoothie.html
enjoy! and don't forget, the free baskin robbins ice cream day is just around the corner as well!!! (and u know what that means, steve!)

happy one year to me and jason! wheee~ can't believe it's already been that long.... muahah.. little does he know what i nice dinner i've got planned. heheeheee... shh! no one say anything til after 7 tonite. heck, if anyone even reads this by then. it's ok i like having conversations with myself. =)

yay marshall cultural celebration and cross cultural center admit day programming!! i had lotsa fun performing and it feels great to be able to share my culture with my friends and ucsd community. =) sdsu's culture nite was dope too. got lotsa positive feedback and compliments and whatnot. thank u to everyone. especially those who support me and help me, in particular jason, and also steve, and everyone! =) wheee~

yesterday was the first day of tutoring at Preuss School again! it's good to be back =) i must be crazy or something. i'm going to be doing a minimum of 80 hours total of volunteering time at these schools. oh well, c'est la vie. =) i can't get enough tutoring.

i also had the first real section today with my last section of the quarter... yes they will be my very last students and i will miss TAing a great deal. i am determined to make the most of it, make it the BEST TA-ing i've ever done these past 2 years.... =) BAM. it's like that. =)

thanx to steve for inviting me to watch an SD International Film Festival feature tonite at PC Theatre. the movie, called "Peppermint Candy", is a South Korean film that makes u think a whole lot. very good food for though, but kinda leaves u a bit confused. well, me at least. but it's pretty clarified after talking with fellow movie-goers. it's so cool when deep conversations are sparked after a movie is watched. i heard other ppl talking all the way to their cars about this movie. very cool. =) i also got to get in front of everyone and make a lil announcement for the San Diego Asian Film Festival. =) gooo janet. hehee~

and u know what? i think i'ma do it. i'm going to fill out all the UCLA stuff and mail it in by the end of this week. i'm going to do it. i will be a bruin.

either my face is crooked, or my glasses are, or my ears are uneven. my glasses always seem like they're just slighty crooked. blahh~

so i just got up from a nap. i fell asleep on the bean bag downstairs in the living room and i guess it was a very well needed nap! i just konked out.. i was sooo tired all day yesterday. i was nodding off into lala land in one of my favorite classes, and the professor kicks ass. but i could NOT stay alert for the life of me. i wanted to sleep so badly, yet i tried hard to keep taking notes. my chicken scratch is really very funny. too bad i can't read jack. =/ i hope this is not a foretelling of how the rest of this quarter is goign to be... i can't afford to be tired any day of the week. so we shall see.... in the mean time, i've decided to resume tutoring at the Preuss Charter School this quarter. yayyy~ =) i love them students. they rock. good nite.....

Sat. nite: Women of Color Conference
wow. what an awesome crowd. i got a crazy standing ovation from the room. their energy totally fired me up and i had so much fun performing. =) and u know u can get entranced by the sound of a certain rhythm? it's weird cuz i get entranced by the sound of my own drum beat... i really wish i could keep up with all the other kinds of korean dances out there. and i think i will, if i go back to la. =)
btw, thanx cat for your very kindly words! "janet rocked the house with her drum dance at the women of color conference!!! =) " mind you, cat, teresa, vaness and the other PCC performers had a very very cute danza performance last nite as well!!

Sun. nite: Fusion Hip Hop Dance Comp
i'm glad i went! there were some awesome performances tonite. =) the weird thing is that 4 groups all used Tweet's song. geesh~ i was most impressed with Culture Shock's performance, UCSD's Banghra Dance Team, and Formality. Well, formality wasn't so much impressive as it was just a good show, and they really know how to exploit cute lil kids. hahaa.. no i'm kidding. that little guy rocked the house. he could DANCE. so yes, i am here and not at the afterparty. it's ok~ i danced on friday nite so i'm good to go.

alright time to get crackin with my homework... anyone know here i can get cheap laptops?

really though. u would think that a decision like this wouldn't require so much thinking and advising... but it does for me, at least. i'm contacting ucsd alumni who are currently in or have graduated from UCLA's M.Ed prgm, meeting with Education professors, asking my friends, asking myself... *sigh* well, my parents are already talking like i'm going there. a few of my friends also think that i will ultimately decide to go there too. and honestly, i do think that i will end up choosing la... it seems i'm favoring it more. in any case, i should just hurry up and make a decision soon. here. i'ma flip a coin right now and see what it foretells. here we go: umm.. heads ucla, tails ucsd....

*the flip*
anddddd......
it's....
UC...
sd!
ok that was retarded. it's very hard to flip half-dollars. WHAT AM I DOING? i'm not gonna resort to that. alright, well first thing's first. Women of Color Conference performance tonite at Porter's Pub. =) get to lug my drums around in my parents' minivan. actually it came in really handy last night! my friends and i went out to some semi-unexciting asian party last nite in mission valley, and all 8 of us rolled in my party mobile. hehee~ might as well put it to multiple use. =) alright, signing off til next time... look forward to bitching more about my "dilemma."

i could NOT shut up today for the life of me. everyone i ran into the first thing out of my mouth was "i got into UCLA!".. it kinda makes me wonder if this over-enthusiasm just shows that maybe that's where i want to go? in any case, i can't really explain why i'm so excited. i was telling jason that i think it's not the fact that i got in, but more of the feeling that as an educator and a student, i'm being validated for my work and passion. i know for a fact that i didn't get in due to academic merit. ha! my gpa and whatnot.. oy~ and my gre. well, ucla doesn't need gre scores. but in any case, the fact that both ucsd and ucla both think that i am quality material. it just goes to show that it does come down to who you are, and how you've proven yourself over the years. the personal essay, the letters of recs, the experience... that's what it ultimately comes down to. and it's not even that i need an institution to validate my work, it's just... well. to think that the professional staff and faculty at these prestigious programs think highly enough of me, have the faith (as all my friends have had in me), that i can join them in their ranks (not literally). and they're willing to mentor me and guide me because they see that i have potential and drive. i guess it makes me feel legit, so to speak. that teaching is not just a dream... it's becoming more and more a reality. how weird is this??

and you know what. i know there are a number of people out there who think teaching is not such a difficult job, that anyone can do it. it sure pisses me off when people refer to it as a "fall-back job." beware the wrath of janet! it is FAR from a fall-back job... unless you have yourself been in a classroom and assumed the role of the teacher/assistant, the work that teachers do is immeasurable and amazing. you will do doubt develop a newfound respect for them.

but u know what? if you want to think teaching is easy, the fact of the matter is, it can be easy. yes, of course. any job that you take on, if you want to make it easy for yourself, u sure can. but just remember this: as a teacher, if your job is easy, then something is wrong.. because you are doing a MAJOR disservice to your students.

i've got a question for you... ponder it for a bit. this comes from compliments of my dad. =) there are two drivers in two separate cars. one is following the other car. whose job is harder, the front car or the back car?
....
....
ponder...
....
a. the back car: because you have to make sure you don't lose the person in the front, gotta keep up and not lose him/her
b. the front car: if you want to make it easy, then it's done. let the car following you fend for himself and you can chill and worry about your own path, about gettin yourself there.
BUT. as the front car, it's the difficult if you want to be a good leader. u make sure that the person behind you doesn't lose you, u make sure that when u change lanes there is enough space for both of you to merge, you maintain a speed that the car behind you can maintain.

this is what it takes to be a leader.

i come home today, and find a bunch of post-its on my monitor, stuck one behind the other. the front one reads "GUESS WHAT?!".... flip to next page "UCLA called!"....(is this a joke??) next page..... "YOU GOT IN!!".....(my roommates are NOT funny) next.... "Details on next page --->".... (ok, a big JUST KIDDING right?)... flip..... "[real details here]"

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?!? i'm IN. they called me to tell me? very weird. and how official is that to leave a message with my roommate? talk about professionalism, official.. confidentiality going straight out the window. but yes.... To Be or Not To Be a BRUIN... That Is the Question..... i am so torn. i have 2 weeks to decide.... ucsd or ucla. what to do?!?!??! i need to keep a running tally of pros and cons of both schools methinks. shit this seriously is not funny. i hate making huge decisions like this..... oh my gosh. i'm going to wonder what would've happened had i chosen the other school. this must be fun to read a few months/years down the line. i hope you're enjoying this, future janet.

doRkYjaNeT: guess guess guess!!!!!!!
its me Lisa 104: WHATT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its me Lisa 104: U GOT INTO UCLA?!
doRkYjaNeT: :-D
its me Lisa 104: OOOOOMGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its me Lisa 104: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
its me Lisa 104: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its me Lisa 104: CONGRATULATIONSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
doRkYjaNeT: oh wow u officially win for most enthused person i've told all nite
doRkYjaNeT: how cool
its me Lisa 104: OMGG
its me Lisa 104: AHAHAHAHAHAHA
doRkYjaNeT: i'm telling EVERYONE and their mothers
doRkYjaNeT: can u imagine

needless to say, i am extreeeeeeeeeemmeellyyyy excited and stoked! =) =) =) wheeeeeeeee~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bastards didn't want me for undergrad but now they've realized what a grave mistake they've made. muahahaa~ yeah. tha'ts it. =/ ok 'nuf babbling. =) whee~! how awesome is this..... =)

i get to drive around my parents' minivan for the next 3 weeks. for what you ask? well, my dinky accord can't really fit in all my 3 Korean drums. anddd.. i have 4 performances in the following consecutive 3 weeks:
week 1, april 6: women of color conference @ucsd
week 2, april 12: sdsu apsa culture nite @ doubletree hotel in mission valley
week 2, april 13: admit day/ cultural celebration @ ucsd marshall college
week 3, april 20: korean culture festival @ garden grove

soooo~ if any of u wanna come check my same ol routine out, you're definitely welcome. plus it never hurts to have the moral support and cheering squad there. =) particularly more exciting when ppl are yelling "take it off!" hehe... so yes. i get to drive around my family wagon, but it's ok. =) it's nice to be up a lil higher off the ground. ok who am i trying to kid. i feel like a mom. there. i said it. no one better gimme any shit for driving it around!!!

ooh~ and i got a lot of compliments on my hair. i'm not one to really be all into that, but yes! thank u for all your nice words! =) makes me feel a lot better for having chopped it off. and guys... guys are too funny. they came up to me and said something along the lines of "your hair... something's different about it... did it grow longer? did u dye it?" heheee... men are silly. ok well u had to be there. time to get my bootie to bed and sleep.

MY LAST UNDERGRAD QUARTER BEGINS....
and here we go for Round 12 of the new quarter. my last quarter!!!! =*( should i be sad or happy? in either case, i am determined to make the most out of this quarter. who knows if it will be my last at ucsd? definitely my last undergrad... we shall see when we see...

as for spring break, i had a very relaxing one =) had my Teach for America interview on Wed., which i think went well. i'll find out if they want me or not in about 2 weeks. either way it doesn't matter because i'm not doing it, have to get my Master's first! oh, and i also finally decided to do it.... i cut off my HAIR! not a big deal, it seems, but really it IS to me. i had hair down to my waist for quite some time, and now.. now it's chopped off. i like it though~ thanx mom! =) on thurs. i could NOT find a single soul to go boarding with me and needless to say, i was very very very sad. but it's ok because the dinner that nite made up for it, as i got to have a lil mini-reunion with my high school buddies. we all went out to a thai restaurant out in west hollywood i think it was. it was good food, but skimpy portions. in any case, it was the time with my friends that mattered. =) on friday what did i do?... i really can't remember. did i go somewher? oh yes!! hahaa... i went to visit my high school and the band director. i know it sounds lame, but he is an amazing person who has touched very many students' lives. a number of us refer to him fondly as Daddy B. it was pleasant seeing him again and catching up with old times as well as new times. =) on saturday jason took me to melrose to go shopping. oh dear.... that poor guy. i wanted to go into practically every single store. melrose is an awesome place to shop.. screw the malls! i came out of there with a few new items of clothing.. hehehee. but i deserve it!! i never go shopping! sunday jason and i went to bear mtn so i ended up paying for a lift ticket. =P oh wellz. the weather conditions were amazing.. such a beautiful day! but the snow conditions? quite slushy, kept sticking to our boards and slowed us down a great deal. but i had fun nonetheles. =) then we went to jason's parents' house and had ourselves quite a yummy Easter dinner. =) i would say i had a very nice break overall. i'm going to have to say that jet skiing was the absolute highlight of my week. and where else can u go jet skiing in the warm weather and snowboarding within the same week? wonderful california. =)

and so here i am now... ready to embark on my final mini journey of my undergrad years..... i wish everyone a stupendous quarter and i hope to spend more time with everyone. =)