i really piss myself off sometimes. i knew i would this. wait until shit goes down until i do something about it. >=/ arghhh. well my teeth are really getting f&$@* up... i've just sort of accepted it now. i'm going to need braces to fix this. my wisdom tooth has basically told the entire row of teeth to move down a seat, and my two small middle ones are like... ack! help! we can't fit into one seat! so they're like being squished out. and u know that feeling of having stuff stuck between your teeth? that pressure u feel? i feel that on all my teeth. they're being so compressed and i've just kind of become numb to the pain now. wonderful.

let this be a lesson to the rest of u. if u have wisdom teeth that need to come out, don't wait. just do it as soon as u can. and if u don't have money, just use a credit card. i'd rather be paying back debts than suffering like this. it seriously SUCKS MAJOR ASS.

janet = not a happy camper.... =( i feel old and senile cuz i had to eat all these soft foods and soups and stuff today. =P made me eat healthier at least.. i guess. =/

making good use of my cd burner. my friends are great! =) my girls are up working on their science projects. they're working so diligently... i'm going to miss them so much. great, just what i need. more ppl in my life to miss... on a happier note, i can throw a grape really really high into the air and catch it in my mouth. now when i say high, i really mean it. just u watch. only thing is, when u practice and the grape lands on your lip, it friggin hurts. it's pretty funny cuz practicing grape catching can amuse me for quite a while. =) my teeth hurt. =(

oh my, this month is almost over.

oh shit. i'm running out of time. my bottom left wisdom tooth is doing some major damage. shit shit shit. aargghhh... WHY DO I ALWAYS DO THIS?!??! i wait until shit happens before i do something about it. my jaw is hurting like a mofo, the whole left side of my face is hurting, and all my bottom teeth are being compressed together. it's hurting all my other teeth. i thought i was going crazy when i thought it seemed harder and harder to floss. now the whole f*ckin row of teeth is hurting. the two bottom middle teeth are slightly crooked inward against each other, and it's always been that way. but my wisdom teeth are pushing the two against each other and now they're getting reallyyy crrooked. i can totally notice it in the mirror this morning. another big hint was that my gums were bleeding only where those two teeth are... will i need braces to push those back in place??? i don't want my teeth to be messed upppp and have to pay more to fix this shit.. aaahhhhh..... =( i'm so sad. i'm in a lot opain more than i am sad. freakin headache... arghghhghghghhghghghn

i want my mommmiiieeeee~.... =*(

last week of Upward Bound and already i'm feeling nostaglic. =( i'm going to miss everyone dearly... i've had so much fun. august is going to be utterly eventless compared to july. i always find ways to keep myself busy, though, so hopefully i'll do the same this summer. keeping busy is a good thing. =) but for now, a good nite's rest is what i need. got lotsa work ahead of me for this final week... *deep breath*

and i need to stop eating so much right before i sleep. i just ate cup-o-noodles and then about an hour later ate half a plate of carne asada fries from el coti's. and now i'm going to bed. for dinner i finally had a salad, and on it i put some tofu. i forgot how much i like tofu. =) yum! ok perhaps i should exercise like i said i would... =/ is this interesting in the least bit??

haha.. everyone is telling me about my squid. (richard has a very interesting entry) i found a squid on thursday nite, and the day after hundreds of beached squids were discovered. now everyone is telling me about it. i feel so bad i couldn't save that one, but i'm thinking that even if i had saved it, it probably would have ended up like the others. i was scared of the ink (how dangerous is it to humans, i wonder?) and it also scared me when it made weird farting noises haha. poor thing... and poor hundreds of other squids.. =( i heard there were people who were actually taking some squid home to eat.. =/ mostly asians. and i also heard the water was all black from the ink. ooohhhh.. that's probably why the beach smelled so fishy and gross yesterday!!! look at janet go, deductive reasoning woo hooo. lotsa dead squid. smelly beach. ok i'm up too early. this is my last day assigned for breakfast duty. time to go back to sleep.... *yawwwn*

no way. hahaha... check out mike kim's blog site, and click on his link to the article about squids at la jolla beach... trippy! or just click this link: SQUID

yesterday (sunday, dur) i drove to Imperial Valley and back to pick up students for the final week of the program =( there are two vans that go out there to pick them up. well, for those of u who know me, i drive at a fairly accelerated speed. i got to the 52 and 5 junction 30 min. ahead of the other van. so i asked the other RA if he would be down to take the students to the beach.... and we decided to do it. such rebels we are. we're supposed to bring them directly to the dorms, but these kids almost never get to see the beach. they live out in the desert and living in ucsd dorms for 5 weeks is such a taunt. so we said, why the hell not. let's take em for 10 min. i drove them through downtown la jolla and out to la jolla cove. boy was it hard to find parking fora 15-passenger van. =P the students were so excited and happy. they all jumped into the water with their clothes on. =) u should have seen the expression and joy on their faces. such a kodak moment i had to grab my camera. well.. we ended up staying about 20 min. we made our way back to the van and it took forever to get back to ucsd through la jolla tourist traffic. the whole time the other RA and i are like "shit shit.. we're going to be in so much trouble" but in a sort of laughing-it-off, ah-fuck-it sorta way. we were really behind schedule. they're supposed to be checked in with their keys, unpacked, and ready for dinner 15 min before 5. we ARRIVED at the parking lot 10 min before 5. they didn't have time to change or anything. and we were trying to think of excuses to give our supervisor, but all the students were in wet clothes and had sand on them. so much for a cover. at any rate, we knew we were going to get in trouble but it was definitely worth it for the joy these students got out of it. =) we didn't get into that much trouble, but i sure was worried. i just don't like disappointing ppl who expect the best from me. was it a bad judgment call? liability wise, yes. for the joy of the students? no way. i don't regret doing it. =)

yesterday was time well spent. =) my best friend hayley and i did what we do best. nothing. we caught up on each other's lives and whatnot, and i'm just very content. i miss her so much, how am i going to stand another 4-5 years of her being in berkeley? well... at least i've made plans to go visit her the weekend of the 16-18th. i should really service my car for 90k if i plan on driving up...

speaking of road trips, i've got my first major trip coming up in september! time for me to discover parts of western europe. countries i'll be hitting up are england, holland/netherlands, belgium (mmmm.. chocolate), germany, northern italy, and france in 16 days. a lil ambitious? perhaps. jason and i have made up a very rough itinerary, but we've gotta do research and figure out if everything will work out with train schedules and whatnot. we spent some time in the bookstore skimming through travel guides, and i think i'm going to purchase Rick Steve's. very no-nonsense and practical and he gives his opinions. and for u guys who've been to europe before, or who know the languages of the countries i'll be visiting, please teach me how to say useful phrases! "how much? where is the bathroom? how do i get to...? hey baby, how old are u?" u know. the usual. =)

driving down to SD this morning was so beautiful. i swear if i get into a serious car accident it'll be due to one of two things: 1) falling asleep at the wheel, or 2) staring at the beauty of nature (i.e. ocean, moon, stars...) the ocean was a stunningly clear, near-perfect blue... =) .. if only everything else in life were just as clear and near-perfect, verdad?

my tooooooooooothhh~!!!!! =( anyone know of any good dentists with reasonable rates? someone please shoot me now. i don't think it's healthy to be taking ibuprofen so often for so many days. i'm going to freakin remove my wisdom teeth myself if i can't find anyone to do it next month...

on a brighter note, i had dinner last nite with the family of the kid that i've tutored for the past 2 years (lil dale) and took susan with me, as she will be taking over my place for the following year or two. i think she's taken a liking to everyone already. =) and i've already told her a bunch of quirks that each family member has, so hopefully the transition won't be too crazy. they are definitely a unique family. and i forgot susan is a vegetarian... =P that's gonna be quite interesting as they are one carnivorous family. i'm going to miss the mom's cooking soooo much. =( i was getting sad yesterday, esp. when dale called me "ex-tutor"...!!! =( janet = old and busted, susan = new hotness. =*( she'll love them and i know they'll love her. i feel good, really i do. =) they are in good hands!

and i get to see my best friend today!!! =) =) =) the simple joys of life. also thinking about a trip up to the bay area perhaps sometime in august. anyone want in?
shadow puppets are cool.

our off-campus field trip activity for this week was going to downtown SD to watch a comedic play called "Triple Espresso." for anyone who would like a play to attend, i highly recommend this one. it is so freakin hilarious i can't even explain. =) during one act i was laughing so hard i was literally crying. i wasn't just wiping tears from my eyes, i had to wipe them from my cheeks. insanity, i tell ya. i don't know if there are too many things in life that surpass the feeling of laughter. =)

at the beach yesterday nite i found a beached squid. the tide was sooooo low cuz of the full moon, it was crazy. i was walking along the shore and the smooth sand stretched out so far ahead of me. i was walking where normally the water would be up to my waist. i don't know how else to describe it other than just plain "cool". =) oh yeah the squid. i was so sad. =( i tried to save it but i was scared that it would squirt ink at me and somehow aim it at me. =/ i couldn't help it much. i thought maybe it had made it back into the ocean, but the tide had only gotten lower and the squid didn't look very alive when i checked on it before we left... =*(

the beach + full moon (i.e. low tide) + perfect weather + bonfire = freakin amazing.

p.s. thanx mike kim for your very flattering words. =) u kick ass, too. i LOVE your blog postings... and i always have. i'm one of your most faithful readers! =) u go, boy~ *high five*

i'm so happy! i get to see my best friend this weekend. =) get to catch up with her and do random things again. wheee~! i think it's really cool how we're experiencing each of our own walks of life, yet we're sorta doing it together. to be more specific, we're both going to grad school this upcoming fall. while she'll be getting her PhD in engineering, i'll be getting my M.Ed. still, grad school is grad school. perhaps i'll make a visit up north and make my rounds while i'm up there! hit up apsa peeps like kim, mike, and others who are up there exploring their respective lives. =)

my desk gets messy really quickly, wow.

i have yet to burn my first cd. it's installed and ready to go! i just need better software. the one that came with my burner sucks major ass. it can only burn .wav files and not mpgs. how lame is that?? =P yeah. i was tutoring some of my students today and man i forgot a lot of math... but then i also remembered surprisingly a lot. well, i think so. for not having had these math classes for 5-8 years? throw me a bone here. i also had really nice, quality talks with my girls. =) life is good and i'm takin it easy...

what a weekend! actually, a lot happened now that i think about it. jason and i went to eat at sam woo on friday nite, which was when i lost my fone. i left it on the chair, came back for it a lil over half an hour later, and it was gone. i swear i thought it was because i left no tip.. perhaps the waiter took it and didn't want to give it back. that was the first time in my life i didn't leave any tip. i order chow fun and one of the bell peppers that were cut up and cooked still had the sticker on it! so i pointed it out to the waiter, and he's all.. "oh, sorry..." and cleaned the plates and left. i sat there like.. uhhh... ok. punk. no tip for u! perhaps an omen never to do that again?

at any rate, i lost my fone, text messaged myself to call another number should someone have found it. and i KNOW someone had it cuz my fone was off. then at 2:30am they msg'd me back with a number. i called it in the morning and got a hold of the guy. he sounded pretty thuggish, but said that he'd give me back my fone. so basically i spent all day waiting for his freakin fone call. after several attempts at trying to get a hold of him again, and on the verge of giving up, i finally got a hold of him, waited in the sam woo parking lot for half an hour, and finally got my fone back. punk had been using my fone too, cuz i was following up on my calls online. smart punk erased the call histories. i'm sure had fun using my fone, but i really don't care cuz i have unlimited nights and weekends. anyway, i was really really sad but now that i got my fone back i'm good to go. sad how dependent i am on my fone....

well, as there is not much to do here in san diego, we watched two movies this past weekend. one was K-19 with Harrison Ford, and he as SUCH A BAD ACCENT it's not even funny. the other was Mr. Deeds with Adam Sandler which was pretty funny, but not THAT great. i heard Road to Perdition is really good, the one with Tom Hanks (as opposed to the one with someone else?... =P ) anyway, yeah. looks like it might be another movie weekend again. we'll see. mm... well i DID go to the beach too. =) and discovered la jolla shores is very not friendly for roller bladers. and on saturday nite i performed my korean drum dance again. that was my last performance i know of. perhaps i'll be back for some apsa events this upcoming year... =) *hint hint nudge nudge, jas.... ian.....*

well.. it's the second to last week for Upward Bound now. =( i'm going to miss my students and coworkers so much... =( i'm going to make the most of the time we have left though. and i'm going to coordinate the most BOMB DIGGITY banquet ever! i've already got the theme! hollywood nite... oscar nite... something like that. we're gonna buy red butcher paper and make it like the red carpet, have mics and cameras and lights on them as they arrive... it's going to be so cute. =) woo hooo~ alrighty. but for now i must sleep. have breakfast duty, and i'm going biking around campus with my fellow RA. yay for working out. and i played soccer tonite with my students. so much running, and fun at the same time. i scored one goal! woo hoo~ i never play soccer. i really suck. i can't believe the students kept passing the ball to me. at least i'm learning a lot of spanish! wheee~ and brushin up on what i know already. =) hope everyone has a good week!

GREAT JOB on SIORC Student Summit this past weekend, guys! u seriously kick ass. all of u. my heart goes out to u. u worked so hard and it was such a success. =) yayyy!!!! keep on educating...

did i mention how awesome my students are? i have so much fun with them, and they really are very good kids. =) we went to the SD Night Time Zoo tonite and just had some crazy, carefree fun. i dunno why, but i'm so exhausted and tired.. and my feet hurt! i really should be doing more exercise. =P maybe something like running. >=P ew. i went biking for a bit! that's something. at least im walking around campus all over the place... talk about minimal exercise. i should seriously get into shape come early september so that i can walk and carry my backpack around europe. that will be my motivation! europe! get in shape for europe, janet!

i'm missing a lot of my friends, but i'm comforted in knowing that they are not too far. =) it's just that my schedule doesn't really allow for free time. when august rolls around i'll have PLENTY of time on my hands. i'll have so much time i won't know what to do... though i do have a ton of stuff to take care of.... =/ particuarly grad school ish... but in the meantime i'll continue having fun with my program! i'm no longer reigning as foosball champion... i'm losin it... =( hopefully i'll be able to reclaim my title, though it doesn't look likely right now...

oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JASMINE!!!! i hope ur bday dinner went well!!! i'm sorry i wasn't able to make it, but i'm sure u had a blast nonetheless. =) wheee~

i forget how nice the beach really is... =) and especially at nite. i almost regret that i didn't take advantage of it more often during my 4 years here in la jolla. it's not like i'll be far from the beach up in la, but la beaches just are not as nice (nor pleasant-smelling). and i won't have all my friends nearby. =( at any rate, back to last nite. i went with my fellow RAs, all but one who passed out right after our nightly meeting. we went on a food run to el coti's and i had my fill of carne asada fries. yum! then i had a bacardi silver, which i'm really beginning to like. thereafter we headed over to the beach and the 5 of us just laid there looking at the stars and clouds, admiring them, talking, laughing, and just enjoying one another's company. we all get along so well and i admire all of them so much. =) it was soooo soothing just listening to the waves and hearing their voices... i kept drifting in and out of sleep. =) i really should do this more often...

my girls are sooooooo sweet!!! =) they've decorated our suite by surprise last nite. i'm trying to think WHEN they did it, because lights out was at 10:30.. and then we had our RA meeting after that. probably during that time... =) well i took pictures so if anyone wants to see them, i'll share them with u =) i'm such a cheesehead. they also left me the CUTEST birthday message on the table!!! i love scrabble, and i left my game outside on the table so anyone can play when they want to. i walked out to find the message "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANET" set up on the tile holders. =) HOW CUTE ARE THEY?? they decorated my door and left me messages on our chalkboard, butcher paper, and my door. =) thank u, gals. and thank u to all my friends again. i keep thinking back on the surprise party u guys made happen for me. =) and all the neat gifts i got. i have a cd burner now!!! woo hooo~ i don't have to bum copies off my friends now. all i need now is a dvd-rom... *nudge nudge* ahem! =) hehe... i'll just get myself a cheap one, or just wait til i get my laptop. yeah i'll probably do that. laptops are so damn expensive, my god. i don't want a desktop replacement, i want something portable and decent. anyone know of some deals? alrighty.. time to get up and enjoy my day! this 22-yr-old is off to work... =)

... COUNTDOWN TO TWENTY-TWO!!!... in about a quarter of an hour.... =)

oh my gosh u guys all rock.... =*) u guys are so sweet.... =*) surprise isn't even the word that could describe my reaction. it's an understatement. never in my life would i ever have imagined having a surprise party for my birthday. and ppl i know from different parts of my life.. all together in one room. how crazy is that. =) u guys are awesome, but special thanx to jason for working for so long on putting this together. i want to say that i had maybe 1% of a hope or wish or SOME sort of inkling that it could happen, but i really didn't. u guys are awesome for driving so far just to celebrate this special (upcoming) day for me. =) i was sooo touched that i cried, though i don't know how many of u noticed. i'm such a sap. and to walk into a surprise party after having just pushed an SUV around the block and being all sweaty... =P anyway... i had SO MUCH FUN TONITE. u guys all kick ass. *HUGE BEAR HUGS* my sincere thanx for making my 22nd so special for me. and i got cake and candles to blow out!!! how cool is that?? =) i really can't remember the last time i blew out candles. i can't stop smiling. =) thank u again, everyone! *muah*!

i'm having so much fun being an RA it should be illegal. today was a blast. =) i think it helped that i got a lot of sleep for a change. i played volleyball with most of my fellow RAs as well as a bunch of students. i so miss playing games recreationally. i guess i never can really find ppl to play with. well... apsa had intramurals that i wasn't able to make it to often. at any rate, i love playing volleyball. =) and foosball. and i also got to play scrabble and jenga. i'm so competitive. for jenga we each got 18 pieces and built stuff as high as we could without it falling over. i'm soooo competitive, i would rearrange my blocks whenever i thought someone would beat me, or when someone did. i even ran to get my tape measure once to prove that mine was 3 cm taller! so sad... but so much fun. =) such simple things...

and tomorrow (er, technically today) is one of my girl's bdays and i just finished decorating our suite with streamers and little construction paper design thingies i made. i hung some streamers on her door too, put up a big butcher paper with "Happy Birthday, Nicole!" on there and had everyone in the suite sign it. =) i hope she's surprised tomorrow morning! not only that but she gets this huge cake at lunch time, as well as a card. =) and she's turning a whoppin 17... *sigh* and i'll be 22 in a week... but for now, time to rest up as i have breakfast duty in the morning.. =P *yawnnn*

i miss my best friend... =( where are u, hayley...? =(

i realize i'm not doing a great job of updating ppl on my life. i wonder who's actually still reading this? well... my life has been hectic as ever, so much going on. juggling things around as best i can, though. i just read up on several of my friends' blogs and i really do miss them. on wed. i went to the San Diego County Fair with my good buddy steve, and we watched Lifehouse perform!! =) they really do kick ass. i had so much fun at the fair =) it's like being a kid again. everyone is there to just have a good time and wander around. on the 4th, had a get-together with my friends and got a bit tipsy. =) i love my friends, i miss them so much already even though they're basically just down the street. my work schedule doesn't really allow for free time. being an RA, i'm pretty much on call 247.

well, i do have my bday weekend coming up. =) i'ma be TWENTY-TWO! can u believe that?? i remember waiting to be 21, and now i'm past that. life is crazy... i'm thinking about having a get together this friday with my friends, but don't want to double-book with jeff green who's having the apsa ppl go to his thing that same nite. maybe i'll do an apsa bday thing the following friday, with jasmine perhaps? all these birthday babies. =) JULY KICKS ASS.

ok... my friends. please. do NOT watch MIB II. really, please take my word for it and don't waste your money! all the funny jokes they've already shown on the previews, and the jokes that they DO make in the movie are just not funny. they try, i'll give em that much. but they just don't cut it.

i love listening to music. i've been doing it so much more these past months. =) i think it also helps that i have a slightly better sound system on my computer. i didn't say GOOD, i said better. i need to burn more cd's too, esp. cd's of mpegs... u know. since i'm getting a cd receiver in my car that can also play cd's of mp3s. =) woo hoo~ u know what though. i really should get a burner, as i keep asking my friends to burn shit for me. =P hmmm... more money to blow. maybe i'll have some left over from the money i'm saving up for europe. i really do have strange priorities. =/ i should take care of myself first... like my FREAKIN wisdom teeth which are making my jaw hurt right now. =( alright, iBabbling. no more. take care all of u. =) hope to see u guys celebrating my 22nd with me!!

happy fireworks day! =) i'm sure the majority of us americans aren't really celebrating this day in our independence. but then again, given certain circumstances within the past year, i think this will be the most patriotic 4th of july yet. slept like a log last nite and i'll finally be going outside today. =P call me a bum, i know it. life is interesting.. i should go out and take advantage of it. miss everyone madly...

sorry i'm so busy guys! RAing for Upward Bound here at UCSD Roosevelt dorms (Latin America Rm 419). my students kick ass =) i love em, and my fellow RAs kick even more ass. =) i'm having so much fun but it's so exhausting. barely have any time to sit and breathe. late nites, early mornings, walkin all over campus. but it's all good =) so if u don't see me on AIM as much, that's why. and if i'm on and i'm not talkin, it's cuz i'm running around taking care of my girls as well as business. at least i have internet in my room woo hooo! hope everyone is having an awesome summer. this will be my last ucsd summer residential program. i've done it every year for the past 4 years and it'll be my last. =*( i will definitely make the most of it.