benji and i leave for the cheesy state of wisconsin tomorrow at the crack of dawn. actually, a lot earlier than that. won't get much sleep, but perhaps on the plane. i'm deftly afraid of the cold. everyone i've talked to mentions how cold it gets there. =/ mind you, i'm packing heavy clothes and enough regular clothes to layer up. bought some thermals today, which actually works out nicely since i need them for boarding anyhow. =) gotta finish packing and get ready to ring in the new year in the mid-west!!! so ironic.

happy 2004! celebrate safely! it will be the year of the monkey in about a month! goooo monkeys! (i have no idea why i continually sound so peppy and happy-go-lucky in my blogs)

*la la la* "all i want for christmas are my two left fingers, my two left fingers..." (to be functional)

for those of you who celebrate x-mas (whether for religious reasons or for americanized reasons), merry christmas! =)
for the others like myself, happy holidays! =) happy kwanzaa! and happy hanukkah! =) wishing all those in my life and their families a safe and festive season. whee~ (if only all this feel-good stuff was true at the stores... man!)

time to give benji his gifts (which he'd better like)!! i get mine! i'm so excited! time to see family! i think i might quite possibly be in the mood now...

SSHHHIIIIIITTTT~!!!! WHAT IS MY PROBLEM???
i finally got myself to go get my pinky finger (the one i smashed during basketball about 4 months ago) checked out at the UCLA student health center. i went cuz now that i'm on break i actually have time to go during the day. well, the nurse practitioner looked at my pinky finger and said that it's probably deformed due to calcification, which would be a result of a possible fracture. so i get sent to radiation for x-rays. i asked if i could, while i'm there, not only get my pinky finger x-rayed but also my ring finger (as i was still experiencing some pain there).

i get the x-rays back and the nurse walks in saying "yes, you fractured both your fingers." O_O NOOOOOO!!!! he shows me the x-rays, and on my ring finger, my both right above my middle joint in split. on my pinky finger, the bone also right above my middle joint is a chip. it's like a splinter just chillin there hangin out. i guess around that chipped bone is where the calcification (calcium salt deposits) built up. UNFORTUNATELY, it can't just be "fixed" because i waited FOUR FREAKIN MONTHS! so the way it's healed is the way it's gonna be. i'm so angry at myself!! i've been doin normal things for the past 4 months or so, and now my fingers are jacked up. they said i should have immobilized it, which i did. they asked me for how long, i said 3 days. they said i shoulda kept it on for 2 weeks. mother freakin a!

so i'm thinkin, how was i supposed to know it was a fracture? i was told that most people don't think fractures are fractures. so all u people who play basketball and other sports, if u have a really hard impact on your body, and it just hurts more than usual, get it checked out immediately.

Sign or symptoms of a fracture may include:
* A pop or snap felt or heard at the time of the injury.
* Pain that increases with movement or when pressure is applied to the area.
* Swelling and bruising that begins within 30 minutes of the injury.
* A grating feeling or sound.
* Limited movement in the injured area or new movement where there is no joint.
* Deformity.
* Loss of normal feeling. The injured area may feel numb or tingly.
* A bone poking through the skin or visible in the wound. (i hope this one is obvious)

It may be difficult to tell the difference between a severe sprain and a fracture.
Some fractures may require surgery. (which may become my case)
(www.webMD.com)

i have to make an appointment with the UCLA Hand Clinic to get evaluated and treated by hand specialists. i also had to fill out a claims form cuz now it's dealing with insurance. it's gonna cost me some money due to the $250 deductible + 10% of fees beyond that. again, i'm very pissed of at myself. yes, i'm dwelling on it. it's my freakin fingers!!! i need them to be functional and not painful. =( i'm sad. this is the first time i broke anything. and now i'm getting worried. am i getting enough calcium intake? was it cuz my bones are not strong enough? am i getting older? or was the impact just really hard? janet sad.

i'm beat up and close to broken... (ok, a slight exaggeration). just got back from sitting in a movie theatre for over 3.5 hours!! dang Lord of the Rings! so long.. but i must say it was definitely PACKED with action and multiple mini-plots goin on. as the movie neared the ending, i kept getting tricked into thinking the movie was ending.

and now, as i am finally able to sit down and relax, i realize how my body has been abused. my first time hitting up the slopes and i'm just... all sortsa messed up. ate it hard off a rail. i dunno what happened, but my board slid out from behind me and i landed on the rail with my stomach. got the wind knocked out of me and jammed my knee into the ice. =( my body just hung over the rail as i tried to get over the "awww!!"s from people who saw. ouch. yes, i need rest... i was surprised, though. bear mtn was actually pretty nice today. good weather, a lil icy at first, but oh well. =) yay john! thanx for going with me!! feel better~

my mom and my brother came to my classroom yesterday! =) we had a crazy party up in room 25. i had about 8 or 9 families come, there was sooo much food, my kids were bonkers cuz i never let them play like they did yesterday... it was good fun. =) i miss them already. =(

FINALLY. i get to go boarding for the first time this season TOMORROWWWW~!!! wooo weee! =) i'm excited. i can hardly contain it!!! ......

what i get for not taking care fo myself
my dad just got done yelling at me for my gimpy left pinky finger. i guess it's more serious of a problem that i really think it is. benji was all upset at me too, for not taking care of myself. i just thought it'd get better over time... after 4 months. my dad was comparing my fingers and he said that something was off, as in it needed to be hooked back on or something. maybe a tendon or ligament or i dunno what. my joint is swollen, i can't straighten my pinky completely, nor can i bend it all the way. it just sort of waves around. for the past 4 months it's been fairly useless. i've learned to just not use it. what sucks the most is when i grab a handful of small objects (like pretzels, beans, counting cubes, etc.) with my left hand, it all falls out of my fist because my pinky finger can't close all the way. it's quite sad. i only hope it hasn't been too long so that's it's unfixable. cuz i've been waiting a while and it ain't gettin any better. i'm in perpetual pain, but i just sorta ignore it. =( i woulda gone to get it checked out earlier if this whole damn health insurance thing wasn't so confusing. i still don't understand it. LAUSD didn't even send me any insurance cards yet. what am i supposed to do??

mayrin and i went to my school yesterday to help decorate for the holiday assembly we're having on monday. only four teachers were decorating the whole freakin auditorium. besides the two of us, it was also blanca and robin, who both happen to be the assembly chairs and fellow 1st grade teachers. i dunno why no one else came out to help. but lemme just say, we KICK ASS. the stage looks soooo good. we were all very proud of our work. the magic we can do with lights, a tree, presents, some paint, and LOTS of butcher paper. i can't wait to see my kids' faces when they see the auditorium. they're going to be SOOOOO cute tomorrow!!! they're singing a song in spanish (yes, all my kids) called "Paz y Libertad," Peace and Liberty. the lyrics to the song kick ass too:

(translated by yours truly)
for all the children of all the world
we want peace and liberty

chorus: peace, we want peace and liberty
in this world

no more hunger and no more war
we want peace on this land

chorus

for the poor and the old
we want peace and liberty

chorus

no more bombs and radiation
and more ideas of extermination

chorus

my All-Stars are soooo cute!! need to videotape them tomorrow.

yesterday my sub DID show up. =) yay! apparently she did a good job, it seems. it's really funny though. all the subs i've had always say the same thing first about my class, but in different ways. "your class is very hyper" or "energetic" or "active." yesterday's note from the sub read, "dear ms. lee, you have a very active class, but nice students. they worked hard and finished almost everything. thanks for such good lesson plans [hehe]. i enjoyed your class." she even left her number! now i just need to ask my kids on monday, from their perspective, how the sub was. what was hard about being away from them this time around was that i didn't forewarn them that i wouldn't be there, and i didn't tell them why, either. i think a lot of them thought i was sick. when i checked my classroom mailbox, there were a bunch of little notes that read "i miss you ms. lee" "i love you" and lots of smiley faces and hearts. so sweet!! this weekend i hit up big lots, target, 99c store, kinko's... i dropped over $200 on my students/classroom. in addition to the couple hundred that i spent LAST weekend. =/ i'd better ease up on the spending... shoot. i didn't even buy most of the gifts for my friends and family yet.

i wonder what happened at my school today. i wonder if my sub showed up. i wonder if my kids got disbursed. i wonder how many of my students came to school today. aside from these questions, YAY!!! i got my 10 lb package of student holiday gifts delivered today!!! too bad i wasn't at school to pick it up. =/ damnit. it arrived in only 3 days, even though they said expect it in 10 days. very cool. =) goin out to O Sushi tonite to celebrate davy's b-day. happy 23rd, ex-roomie!!

i feel like i'm ditching school. today is the national boycott in response to the repeal of the driver's license bill for immigrants. no work, no school, no buying anything... just stay at home and don't be a consumer for one day. many news sources and people in general are not realizing that there are a number of teachers who are also participating in this boycott. at my school, there are a handful of teachers not going to work today. granted that it was hard for me to accept that in the short-run, my kids are getting the short end of the deal. but in the bigger picture, this has to be done as it is a part of the cause. i think it's going to be something big. i'll watch the news as i do my work at home and see what the effects of this are. apparently, many people know about it. i'll just kick back and see what happens. oh shnaz... i hope i dont' have to buy gas today. if not, i just won't go anywhere. alright... i wonder if my sub will show up today. my school has a history of subs not showing up because they prefer not to work at our school. and historically, on days that a numer of teachers were absent, the school was in complete mayhem. let us see what happens today.

i only have two more weeks left with my All-Stars until winter break comes around. =( i'm so sad!! what am i to do with myself for 3 weeks? well... i could try to hit up the slopes for the first time this season. benji and i might take a trip somewhere. looks like it might be wisconsin. (don't ask). things have been coming along with my class. i'm much more settled and calm now. i feel like i'm really getting the hang of things. my classroom is looking more and more like i want it to look, although i still have a ways to go.

i know you UC folks have finals this week. well, i'm a UC folk too, but i'm a grad student. i don't got finals. =) GOOD LUCK on finals! stay afloat, it will soon be past you. speaking of which, if y'all are free next week, come visit my class!!! those of you who said you'd visit, what better week than next? and if you wanna bring donations with you -- such as clipboards (i need a lot more), crayons, cool pencils, magazines (xnay on the maxims), crafty stuff, monetary donations, a printer, what have you --- i'll take it! it is the season of giving, afterall. sorry, i'm not completely coherent and i know i'm rambling. just lemme know. =)

p.s. anyone know any good deals on car stereos?