debating if i should pull an april fool's day joke on my kids or not...

this weekend was just full. two days in a row of soccer! got a lil bit of my tan back. i'm so exhausted, what with youth workshops and home visits, and this and that. yeah. but no excuses. i like living a busy life. =)

may i just share how proud i am of my partner? congrats to benji.. or dr. chang, if you will... for being accepted into the PhD program in urban schooling at UCLA!!! =) yayyyy~!!! next year the tables will be turned as i become the working half and he becomes the student. how weird that'll be. and then about the time he's done with the program and gets back into teaching again, that'll be when i get back into school for my turn. dr. lee... has a nice ring to it, eh? cuz lemme just say, this master's program just ain't cuttin it. it's a joke, is what it is. sure, i gotta work on my master's thesis, but in terms of what the 2 years has been? intellectually, it's a disappointment. my field supervisor advised me that what i need and am probably looking for is a PhD program. maybe she's right. *shrug* maybe that's what i was expecting. well, i'm going to go looking for it in several year's time. and it better be rigorous.. it'd better kick my ass. but that's later.

another momentous event is about to approach... ah, yes. the infamous one-year anniversaries... next week marks the one-year of our official partnership, between benji and myself. and what to do? i'm clueless. what a great girlfriend i am. it's strange to think that it's already been a year. while in the past my relationships had seemingly outgrown themselves or just turned stale (what? i'm being truthful), this is one in which a year together has only fostered growth. really. and the possible clash of two teachers with VERY strong opinions and ideologies... ooh~ danger to be foreseen. but, the past year has proven otherwise. why do i ramble in such ways? cuz i'm damn tired. i go to bed cuz i sound ridiculous. *yawn*

what a weekend~ a cabin full of old SD buddies and snowboarding. mix in a little bit of old time fun and you get an interesting weekend. for one highlight, davy wanted to satisfy his need to go off-roading in our rental Trailblazer. after we almost got stuck in a swampy area, he drove into snow. and got stuck. real bad. we tried everything. if you had an idea, we tried it. got plenty of muddy goo all over the car... and ourselves. while davy wanted to blame the car and its "claim" to be a 4WD, i think it was the tires. they were regular street tires. of course they'll spin. at any rate, some random nice dood in a big ol pick-up got a rope and hooked it from his bumper to the back of our tow hitch. he literally tugged and yanked the suv out. and in return, he just asked that we do something nice for someone else. very cool of him. =) crazy davy.

=/ i don't understand my mom. well, kinda. she just told me today that my grandfather had passed away on friday afternoon. i even called her on friday nite to tell her i was leaving for my trip, but she didn't tell me then because she didn't want to bother my trip. i dunno... i still would have like to know right away. at any rate, she's doing alright (it's my maternal grandfather). she was pretty much prepared for it, because he had been in so much pain, what with having been hospitalized the last several weeks. now my grandmother will be living alone, but after moving to another apartment. i kinda worry, though. she is in her 90s also. *sigh*

tomorrow night is the viewing, and on tuesday afternoon is the funeral. i will have to either get a sub for my class for the second half of the day, or disburse my students to the other first grade teachers. i'd rather do the latter. my students gave mayrin a difficult time this past friday. i have to have a serious talk with them tomorrow. and i think i'm going to have to make some mean decisions about not letting certain students go to the zoo that day. yes, our very first class field trip is tomorrow! let us see how that fares...

i felt horrible today. i told my students on monday that i would be absent this friday (tomorrow), but i didn't tell them why. and benji knew that i'd be going to tahoe this weekend, but he didn't know when i was leaving. so yesterday nite i told him i was leaving thursday nite. he was so disappointed in me to discover i'd be missing friday to go snowboarding. i tried hard to avoid skipping friday. but weighing things out and, i guess, for convenience's sake i ultimately decided to take a flight thursday nite. the positive, mayrin will be subbing for me, we have one hour of dance with the dance teacher tomorrow, and tomorrow is also a short day. anyhow, this morning i told my class why i'd be absent. i said i was going on a trip with my friends. =( some of them went "awww" and looked really disappointed, and i felt sooo guilty. i added that i knew it was a really bad reason, and i apologized to them. arghh!! =(

anyhow. i leave for LAX in about an hour... helloooo TAHOE~~!!! =)

i miss having super busy weekends. i also forget how busy-ness is not always too much fun. anyhow, this weekend was one of those weekends that made me both miss, and not miss, my undergrad days...

after teaching on friday, had to prep for an educational seminar i was hosting in my classroom for the UCLA student organization CAPSA (concerned asian pacific-islanders students for action). benji came to my school to speak with the org, as well. the undergrads had really good questions for us, and i think we all had a productive discussion on public education in LA. it was nice that i was able to provide sort of the initial, first-year teacher sentiments, and benji provided the veteran, former teacher union chair perspective. what a partnership. =) afterwards, they took us out to eat in chinatown! mmm... seafood...

all day saturday i had UCLA class. the first half was a complete waste of time, whereas the second half was soooo fulfilling! finally!!! a guest speaker from the center for media literacy came and gave an amazing presentation. it was about media literacy and examining/analyzing all forms of media, going into deconstructing dominator culture and capitalism. it hit home for me and actually kept my interest. yay!

then in the evening benji and i attended a chinese association banquet. very interesting. one of his student's grandfather is a prominent member of this apparently large association. he was the one who invited us. all sorts of people showed up in huge roomful of at least 1,000 guests. that is one big ol chinese restaurant in a small place like chinatown. the banquet was complete with lion dancing, cantonese singing, magic show for the little ones, hong baos for the single folks, big ol 8-course meal, and lots of forced small talk with strangers. it was the first time i ever had shark's fin soup! good stuff. we had some expensive food that night. unfortunately, we had to rush off to k-town to meet with our collective folks who were waiting ata karaoke bar, so we left right before the mango pudding came out. =(

so, to k-town we went for karaoke. we sang and drank.. a LOT. i hadn't drank that much in a long time. i didn't really sing, cuz i was in a sort of not-so-happy mood. maybe i was being emotional. *shrug* janet the party pooper. but i drank it up!

so the next morning i woke up late with a hangover. it's been a while. since it was lunch time and we had a little bit of time before our collective meeting, i decided why the hell don't i cook something. so i cooked! O_O made spam fried rice with.. vegetables! go janet. then benji and made our way out to the collective meeting. did i mention we decided on a name already? we are the chinatown collective for community action. nice right to it, eh? well, at today's meeting we finally finalized our mission statement! woo hoo! we are becoming a true organizational collective. =) it's weird to be a part of a founding group. but also very empowering because i get to be a part of a democratice decision-making process in helping to shape and steer the group. =) we all are. this group fills the void of missing APSA. =) (note, "fill the void" not "replaces").

after the meeting, got home and had to sit my bootie down to actually get work done for myself. lesson planned, but mostly i had to work on my master's thesis, for which the draft is due this wednesday. i'm still missing the bulk of two sections. i'll be working hard on monday and tuesday nite, that's for sure. all this week is parent conferences, as it is report card time. that means early dismissal every day this week. =p

then friday i'm going to be gone cuz i fly to tahoe this thursday nite for the weekend. so, mayrin will be subbing for me, cuz she's off track (meaning her school calendar is different, so for the next several weeks she does not teach). that means all my roomies will have subbed for my class! =) wheee~ i wonder what kind of an experience mayrin will have with my lil poopers. they can be... challenging. but they're also very lovable! =) goooo mayrin! how exciting!

one of my kids got her lil palm entirely stuck in one of the sticky mouse traps in our classroom. her whole palm. that ish is GOOEY and strong. we stood at the sink trying as best we could to pull, scrub, rub, and wash it off. to no avail. *shakes head* i'm getting rid of all the mouse traps. it's been months now and they've caught nothing.

one of my kids got her lil palm entirely stuck in one of the sticky mouse traps in our classroom. her whole palm. that ish is GOOEY and strong. we stood at the sink trying as best we could to pull, scrub, rub, and wash it off. to no avail. *shakes head* i'm getting rid of all the mouse traps. it's been months now and they've caught nothing.

it seems every time i blog about administration, district stuff, bureaucracy, standards, etc. i sound so bitter and angry. ish is messed up. i will make it a point to try to focus on the happier side of education and highlight the positives, rather than the whack ass shit that goes on at our school and nation. =) ...see? oh shnaz, i need to sleep.

so the superintendent, director, principal, asst. principal, and literacy coach went on a walk through classrooms yesterday, including mine. despite some of the lack of... i dunno what to call it... the superintendent apparently loved my classroom and raved about it. the phrase of choice was "lightbulb went on." i don't know what the heck that was about. but the principal told me after school today all these things. it was both flattering yet meaningless at the same time. hard to explain. little does she know, i've made up my own damn curriculum. that's right. open court mandated literacy program? sure, i utilize it as a resource. but i'm using an online reading source more so, and my students actually 1) LIKE IT, and 2) are LEARNING. harcourt math? hmm.. it's been 115 days of school, and we've done about... 10 pages in it. pacing plan? sure, politicians. YOU try to teach a skill in two days and pretend your kids know it. i'm spending two WEEKS. i teach what they developmentally and cognitively need. are my kids learning? are they scoring well on your cursed tests? YES. do i care if i don't get paid for having extra kids in my class? NO. am i accountable to the district and the higher-ups? NO. am i accountable to the families whose children i teach? u bet.

anyhow. here's something eventful. near the end of the day, some random dood that was, i believe, under the influence of some sort of drug, came into the computer lab i was in and just high-fived my student and started talking to them. i thought he was my student's uncle or something. then the asst. principal walks in and in a very stern voice said to him, "sir, u need to leave." then all this hoo-ha started up, phone calls to police were made, my door had to be closed, they rang the lock-down bell even though no one had a freakin clue what the lock-down bell sounded like. let's see... lemme see how many times we've practiced emergency procedures this school year..... oh yes that would be 0. where are our priorities? obviously not on the safety of our students. we don't even have emergency kits. but we sure do have a lot of standards and rules.

i'm still freakin stuck on my master's thesis!!! i've just completely come to a standstill. i'm only 15 pages through. i've only completed 3 sections. my first 5 sections are due exactly a week from now. i need inspiration, motivation, a push, a shove, anything! i love my students. but i've done a terrible job of showing them that lately. what is wrong with me?? what am i doing to them?? i am not happy. and i know they're not happy. my school is WHACK!! shit is WHACK! bureaucracy and bullshit = recipe for disaster. ok i smile now. =)

what is it that i posted on my blog that would prompt ads about online learning? is it a hint? =(

i'm so excited!!!!! TAHOE, baby!!! number one, i haven't been there in 2 years. number two, i've gone boarding ONCE this season. i've never been so deprived before.

wow i've begun talking to myself now... watching the news just now, i heard something about the hunt for osama bin laden and i said in an annoyed loud voice, "who the F*** gives a SH**?!" to no one in particular. and changed the channel. then i laughed. i weirded myself out.