Survivor in the Classroom

Have you heard about the next planned SURVIVOR
show?
Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be
dropped in a public school classroom for 6 weeks.

Each business person will be provided with a copy of
his/her school district's curriculum, 5 classes of 28
students each, 25 desks, and 22 textbooks. Each class
will have five learning-disabled children, three with
ADHD, one gifted child, two twice-exceptional and three (or four)
who speak limited English. There will be one
identified with severe behavior problems, one who will
be on house arrest, and about half live who in single
parent homes.Each business person must complete lesson
plans at least three days in advance with annotations
for curriculum objectives and state standards, and
modify, adapt, organize, or create materials
accordingly.

They must maintain discipline and provide
an educationally stimulating environment at all times.
They will be required to thoroughly cover the content,
individually assess each student's needs and progress,
handle misconduct, implement technology, catch up new
students, be interrupted for assemblies, picture day,
announcements, and fund raisers. They must document
attendance, write referrals, provide make-up work,
correct homework, locate (beg for) books and
resources, collaborate with their department and
teams, compute grades, complete report cards, document
benchmarks, and communicate with parents. And their
planning period? If the above is all completed, and IF
the copier is operational, they may make copies of
necessary! materia ls at this time.
Or, they may scrub the graffiti off the desks.
Or, they may meet with parents, counselors, or administrators who want to
know why a certain child is not the center of their
universe .

They must also supervise lunches and monitor
hallways. In addition, they will complete drills for
fires, tornadoes, and shooting attacks. They must
attend workshops, faculty meetings, department
meetings, curriculum meetings, and IEP (individual
educational plan) meetings. They must also tutor the
students who are behind and strive to get their
non-English speaking children proficient to take the
Standards-Based Asessments.

If they are sick, they must create detailed lesson plans to accommodate a
substitute, leaving specific instructions on what
students in what periods may leave class for speech,
guidance, special programs, counseling, or the school
nurse for their medication. If they are having a bad
day, they must not let it show.

The business people will only have access to the golf course on the
weekends, but on their new salary they will not be
able to afford it anyway. There will be no access to
vendors who want to take them to lunch, and lunch will
be limited to 30 minutes. On days when they do not
have bus/lunch/hallway duty, the business people will
be permitted to use the staff restroom and one phone
for 80 people.

The business people must continually
advance their education on their own time and pay for
this advanced training themselves. This advancement
can be accomplished by moonlighting at a second job or
marrying someone with money.

Last, but certainly not least, they must make sure at every turn that they
Leave No Child Behind. The winner will be returned
to his or her own job.