1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, you had your chance before Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad...." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad...." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silenc> was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"
I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, "but what's growing in your butt?"

7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, "..and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father she stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm going to get boobs too."

i don't deserve to be sick. i've been taking care of myself! i take my vitamins (almost) everyday, even my calcium now and then, my echinecea, and even glucosamine! why did i get sick? i felt so shitty this week, and i'm just now starting to feel better. apparently something is going around because walking into my classroom sounds like an infirmary.

the time with my students is slowly coming to a close. only one more trimester left. =( i'm going to miss this bunch a lot. well.. i said the same thing of my last year's students. i remember having some serious reservations about this group, only cuz i didn't know them yet. next year, i'm really considering doing the 3rd grade thing to get my kids from last year back. ooh, but i'm so proud of my kids this year! they understand how hawai'i was stolen by our country. they remember that the queen was locked up in her own palace, and ever since hawai'i has been trashed by tourists and foreigners. they know that native americans are called "indians" because columbus got lost. they understand that indigenous peoples have been continually dispossessed of their own lands. they know so much! and they kicked ass on the mose recent reading and writing test. watch out, america. here come the all-stars of room 25. they aware of the world, of different cultures, languages (they can speak several phrases/words in more than 10 languages, including sign language!), and above all they're solution givers. =)

in the meantime, working to further develop the chinatown collective. it's been 2 years now since we've founded the group. if anyone's game, you're invited to help out with the international worker's day may 1st march. we'll be bringing youth and participating in the march, along with pre- and post- march workshops/debriefings. come help out the youth on america's REAL labor day! it ain't all about barbeques and sales.

summer is lingering on my mind. summer plans, summer plans... many options. maybe do the argentina thing that i was gonna do last year, but did hawai'i instead. could teach again in inglewood for UCLA's GEAR-UP program. singapore recently became an option. the head of the education department there wants to meet and even wanted to hire benji. he never even met the dood. apparently, he's a really radical/critical/progressive intellect. spending weeks in guadalajara, jalisco, mexico is also another option. =/ where will i be?

re-diagnosis of my eye: not cancerous. BUT, slight chance that as i grow older it may thicken or enlarge, in which case i should give the opthomologist another visit. in the meantime, nothing serious. i feel so much better. =)

now that i've proven to myself that i am better about taking care of my health, i should continue the streak and get my back looked at and finally treated somehow, someway... whatever that may be. who knows if it's even fixable now.

and latest new happenings, someone hit my back bumper again as they parked. i left a note for that person, and she called me back. it turned out to be my apartment building manager. wow was she a bitch about it. i even took pictures, but she denies she even touched my car. her evidence? that after she parked she was talking to this man walking his dog, and she even waved at him!.... uh. what am i missing here. i don't see how that proves anything. anyway, she doesn't want to pay for the damage so now i don't know what to do. she's avoiding me. that's great, because when i move out of my apartment, she just has to take off money from my deposit by saying we caused all these damages. how lovely a time i look forward to.

happy 2-year anniversary to me and benji! =) happily together and going strong, i took him out for a NICE dinner to a sushi bar for "omakase", which is the chef's specialties. u'r left completely in the hands of the chef's recommendations. well, of course u can tell him things u don't like to eat. but wow, i ate some really expensive sushi that i've only heard about or seen pictures of... like spanish mackerel, giant clam, sweet shrimp... and some others i've never heard of either. that was GOOD sushi. =p~ yay! we love food. in the end, i had to choose food over atmosphere. anyway, i don't plan on spending money on food for the two of us like that again anytime soon.

after yesterday's visit to the opthamologist, i felt confused. he said that he couldn't find anything wrong with my eyes, that they were 100% healthy. that's a complete opposite diagnosis of what the first doctor said. so what am i supposed to make of it?? as far as he was concerned, there was nothing wrong with me. so, i left confused, wondering what the first doctor could have possibly seen in my eye.

but then after school today, i checked my voice mail left at 8:30am to find the following message: "dr. boone would like to see you right away, today if possible before noon. if not, maybe monday would work. please give us a call back". ok so how am i supposed to take that?? i immediately freaked out and became very saddened and dragged myself around while sulking. i'm still like that now. i can't go in monday. i teach all day, plus it's parent conference week. i'm at school until 4pm at least. i can't leave. but my closest friends are telling me to call in a sub for monday morning and get myself seen. i'm extremely hesitant to give my kids a sub. =/ what to do? i'm scared to find out....