i've maintained this blog for 6 years now... i looked back on some entries way back in the day, and i'm actually learning from myself. observe from what i wrote in dec. of '02:

"there are many other things in life when we find ourselves wishing that things were the way they used to be. the quote that i live by cannot hold truer than in this case. experience is definitely the hardest teacher of all. u get a pop quiz, and u have to pick an answer right then. u have no choice. u deal with it, but eventually u learn the lessons that come with the test. the test of time is truly the hardest challenge. how do u deal with change?
as i've mentioned before, i have learned much about myself in the past several years, and i continue to do so. i've learned that i am able to overcome things without going completely insane (key word: completely). and as i grow older i've found myself being able to deal with things with more strength, dignity, and grace (at least, i'd like to think i do). i won't deny that i'm a very proud person, in that i don't let people see me weak. sometimes i slip, and i feel like such a wuss. but i am only human, and i accept my shortcomings.
i am thankful for change, for i know change happens for a reason."

"Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened."

=) it makes me smile. i see growth. i remember the feelings i felt when i wrote my entries. i see the personality that is me, and the things i would have liked to change. life is crazy... and i still do believe things happen for a reason, and i really am smiling because it happened, not because it's over.

for other womyn who need some waker-upper-ish romantic comedy, i highly recommend "diary of a mad black woman." i'm so glad i watched it! things are going to be ok, and i'm learning so much about my relationship, the other person, and of course, myself. what i want, and what i'm not willing to negotiate. i am janet. hear me roar.