i got the screw out, dave!! went to the local tire place just down the street from my school. got hte screw our for $12, which is half of what the dealership was trying to charge me. that screw was pretty long. i think if i let it stay there a little longer, the tire woulda been gone. i drove down to SD, all over SD, and back knowing the screw was there the whole time.

it's nice feeling like i haven't lost something so great. at first, i thought i was was. and now, as time goes on and i talk to more folks and realize so many things that i didn't before, i am in a much better place in my life. things are better this way, and i really think that time will reveal more and more. unfortunately, along with these realizations come lots of disappointments and surprises. i guess true colors come out eventually, and things happen for a reason. que sera sera...

the other good news is that i'm able to be me again. i'm allowing myself to emerge. i don't know why it wouldn't have been that way anyway. i don't feel as restricted. i feel like i'm able to shine in my own light. i'm more free, i suppose? i just know that i'm content in knowing that i'm able to handle myself with the dignity and grace that i would like, although a few moments i felt i sorta slipped. janet good. janet happy. janet strong. the bad thing out of all this? i feel like my standards are much higher and such high standards are often hard to meet. i need to sort out what things i'm willing to compromise, and which i'm not. through all my experiences, i know now more than ever which things i will NOT settle for. this could be seen as either a good thing or bad thing. but i hope i can come to a point where i know that i deserve a good thing!